Just was listening to a Christmas sermon by Rob Bell, ya I'm a bit behind, talking about who Mary was when the angel told her that she had the savior in her womb. She wasn't this little frail girl but more a woman that knew that that a new kingdom would be coming and that the oppression of Caesar and Herod and such would go away soon. Not by brute force, not by fear, or even by sheer numbers but by the love that that little baby would bring to this world.
I don't know why this all struck me so much but it did. Maybe it was because Mary knew how to trust God in the midst of hard circumstances. I really desire that more, I really desire having that kind of trust in the Lord. I also resonate a bit with Mary, I don't know why I always seems to resonate with these females in the Bible but I do. I think I know a little bit what it may have been like to trust in a plan that seems so odd, that seems so hard at times, and that yet is so brilliant. I can't say that I know why Abby has Leukemia or even why we would be the ones that get to be part of this journey with her. She's no Son of God but she is my little angel. And probably like Mary, I wonder how she brings so many smiles to this world, so many laughs, and so much peace to the hearts of the people that she comes into contact with.
Just last Thursday I saw yet another instance of this while in the hospital. We went down to CHOA, our cancer doc's practice, to get Abby's blood run, an exam, and see if she would still need a platelets transfusion. Abby runs into the clinic and immediately brings smiles to the receptionists faces as she prances around the lobby squeaking out something about the Dory fish in her high pitched, cute-as-a-button, little girl voice. Soon after the vitals nurse checks her weight, temp, blood pressure and draws some blood for testing. Abby jabbers away the whole time telling the nurse what she needs to do next. The nurse, smiling the whole time tells me how much everyone fights over who will get to take care of Abby and how since Joanne isn't there today that the other nurses will get a turn, Joanne always pulls rank on the younger nurses so that she can have Abby as her patient. Soon after the stats. were taken and while we waited for the blood to be run, we moved to the recliner area and played a quick game of Candy Land, I think she beat me, I can't remember. Anyway Dr. Smith came over and pulling his seniority card too informed Sara, the nurse practioner that he would be seeing Abby today, with an "I got here first" sort of smile on his face. He also, informed me that Abby was their favorite.
It's just like that, time after time, Abby's smile, little voice, and peaceful attitude seems to be a light to people, especially people in these medical professions. As we walked down the day procedure ward hallway, on the way to get platelets the whole group of nurses, 6 to 7 in all, stopped what they were doing, turned to watch Abby, holding the hand of our nurse mumbling something about how she liked the hospital how the beds that go up and down, and of course they all smiled. Big grins, and she just smiled back. She's always had a great smile. From a little smiley 3 month old to a just over 3 year old, her smile rarely fades. The nurse at the hospital also told me how Abby had won the hearts of all the nurses the last time she was there too. I don't think it is the smile that really gets me, or all these nurse and doctors that have commented on her, I think it is just the expression of the love that is inside her. Abby truly is a little angel, my little angel. She truly does, in her little 3 year old way, really want to brighten up people’s days. I don't think she understands it yet, or does it in some co-dependent way like we are more prone to do; she just does it because that's who God made her to be. A little loving 3 year old, who somewhere in the depths of her sole, without ever have being told, knows that regardless of the outcome of her trips to the doctors, regardless of the side-effects of her meds, and regardless of the outcome of this whole crazy disease that love still, and only will win.
Smile on Abby :)