Thursday, February 10, 2005

The start of Consolidation

Abby has been pretty happy lately. Not just sitting on the couch. Her counts are very good, 900 ANC, good total white cell count, and every thing seems to be going good with her blood production. Since she is so good, we now get to move into the "consolidation" phase of the treatment. 2 months, 4 new chemo drugs, weekly lumbar punctures and administration of Methotrexate in her spinal fluid, and a couple anti-nausea drugs to tone down the side effects.

Tuesday was the start of this treatment and she was there with Tiffany for most of the day. They had to hydrate Abby really well and get the Ph of her urine to a certain place while they gave this one chemo drug, cyto.... something. We also started 6-MP which is an oral chemo drug that Abby is learning how to swallow. At this point she seems to think they are like a mint and therefore should be chewed up or just sucked on... not the same minty taste though I would think. Last night we ground it up and put in some chocolate syrup and that seem to work. This med she can't have with food, especially dairy or citrus because it binds with those and don't work the same.

The other drug she is on is Ara C, I don't know the long name, and it is give via her Broviac tube. We gave this to her yesterday night after giving the anti-nausea medication to her and hour prior. It is only about 3 mL but I think that was one of the harder things that I've had to do. Tiffany was reading Abby a story as I clean the tube end, added saline, then the Ara C, saline again and then heparin to keep the line from clotting. As I gave it to her, I started getting nauseous just thinking about what this drug will do to my now cheerful little daughter. I had to take a break so I went into the kitchen to throw away the now empty syringe and wash my hands. I washed them for a bit longer than usual, pondering as to what I was really trying to wash off. It's hard to give her these drugs knowing what they do, the good and the bad. Obviously if they keep her alive, or even have the chance of curing her, which they do, I will continue to give them to her, regardless of the side-effects. It's just hard.

We went upstairs as a family, put Anna down and then together Tiffany and I prayed for Abby. We even anointed her with some oil, not as a magic cure-all, I really don't know why we did, maybe just by faith, just to feel a little closer to our God, knowing that He has the power to heal her or not, and being ok with that. I really feel like we gave over our control, our desire for a full uninterrupted night sleep, and our "suppose to's" again. Not in a defeated way, but a hopeful way; a way that let us just fall in to God's arms and be ok with whatever the night would bring.

The night brought sleep, lots of it in fact. Abby cried out just once and went back to sleep before I could get upstairs to check on her. She didn't throw up either!

Ahhhhhh..... I love a good night's sleep.

1 comment:

Robin Dugall said...

Praise God for that report...the "Mom" and I are still struggling a bit with our distance from Abby...we feel so much the need at times just to reach out and hold her and tell her all is going to be OK. We are proud of you are growing in such HUGE ways despite the understandable struggles that go with a battle like this...we love you!