I've know this was coming. I've known it. But once again, over the head it has hit me.
Tomorrow morning we will make our trek down to Denver again for another start of yet another phase, the last and longest phase, Maintenance. A rotating cycle of redundant treatment that will last about a year and a half. We'll start it all off as I said in the last post with a barrage of surgeries, chemo treatments and oral meds at home... just to keep things exciting.
And oh yes, don't forget about Decadron! Grumpy Ville, here we come. Hopefully it will be a bit better this time... but I'm not holding my breath. I think the hardest part of these time is the fact that she is always doing so good right before them! Swinging, playing, laughing, running... And then tomorrow, things will change and she may be back to sitting on the couch sucking on her fingers, smelling her blanket and asking for lots of pasta dishes to keep her satiated. Just not really looking forward to it if I may say so.
But on the flip side, we have had a great few weeks and this will be mild in comparison to Delayed Intensification! Even if it is tough, it should only be that way for about a week. Once the Decadron wears off, she should bounce right back. And it's fall, our favorite season! So, once again we'll take it in stride... but that stride still concerns me.
I was talking to a friend at work and saying something about how this whole treatment has felt like a really long run. The first part you are just pooped but then you kind of get in the groove, get your second wind and feel pretty good, then further along, you really feel good...still hard but you're just in the zone. That's were I feel like I am lately, just came off a big hard run up a hill but I'm still running, the whole family is actually, and yet I feel really good. My concern though is that somewhere in this next part of the race, the year and a half long part, that I'm gonna hit the wall, bonk out, my legs finally failing me...
That's my concern, that's my metaphor, that's my families' life right now.
Pray that things go well tomorrow, that Abby does as incredible as she has in the past, and that our families emotional, spiritual, and physical tanks will be filled up for the journey that still lies ahead!
Thanks for all of your comments, prayers, encouragement, notes, meals, financial help, friendships, and even for taking time out of your day to read my often disjointed little rambling about Abby, my little trooper of a girl who has been through more than I'll ever be able to comprehend... and still, for the majority of the time, has a smile... A BIG, BIG smile on her face.