Some thoughts from Tiffany

It's Saturday morning and I've had two full days of just hanging at home with the girls, Mark at work, and it's felt like a normal life somewhat. But of course what is normal anyway and I am learning that if I set my heart on a normal day or on any of my circumstances I am setting myself up for a fall. And that's good for me to learn. I have been in and out of anger at God and yielding of my heart to His plan. It's hard to swallow a lot of the circumstances of our life right now, like my little girl can't walk more than 5 or 6 steps this week without falling down, and still believe that God is good. But He is relentless in redefining my view of "good" and for that I am thankful. I have been broken and in that place He has shown me the things I hang onto instead of Him. Not because He is narcisistic (sp?) and has to have my allegiance, which has been my belief deep down until now- but because He loves me deeply and wants me to let go of the things that are keeping me from experiencing His amazing love and peace that transcends heartbreaking times. He wants me to know Him and be known by Him in a way that will pull me out of this self-focused place so I can experience truth and see my place in the big story He is writing. That has brought so much freedom (and at times frustration of course, it's not like I've got it all figured out) because I no longer have to make it all work, control, figure it out, whatever. I can let go.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that Abby is doing better this week. She has been cutting out valentines and coloring and talking in non-whining tones and not asking to just watch TV all the time. Her spirits are coming up and that makes me really happy. I feel like I have her heart back as we work on this trust thing between us. I know she's scared and confused at all that's going on but I sense she is adjusting and trusting Mark and I again to protect her as best we can. I'm sure it has rocked her little girl world to see that we can't majically protect her from all bad things. That's probably good for her, but it does break my heart some. It has been good to see her huge love for life starting to return.

On Monday we go in for the big bone marrow test and a spinal tap. No other chemo that day. They are letting her blood counts come back up and will start the next, less intensive phase of the treatment on the 8th.

To Frontier Academy Elementary school- your gift basket brought lots of tears to my eyes. I don't really know any of you but you lavished us with love and gifts and it was so touching, thank you. I am amazed by your generosity and thoughtfulness.

Abby home on Antiboitcs

Just a quick note to tell you that things are fine. They did another blood culture to really see if she has a blood infection or if it was just contamination. At this point she will be on IV antibiotics for 3 days, we just hook her up at home every 8 hours then wait 2 hours and unhook her. Not too bad, a little less sleep for us, but way better than be in the hospital for now. Once they get the 2nd culture back, they will make the decision of if she will stay on antibiotics for longer or not. If she has a blood infection then she will be on something for about 14 days. Otherwise, she'll just finish up the 3 day course.

That's it, hope you got the photo alblum... If you want to be on the list just email me, click in the right hand colum of the blog for the address.

Mark

TNT meeting.... and now a blood infection

<>So after a bit of a crazy day, I decided to go to the Team in Training meeting and see what it is all about. It was a chore, to say the least, to get out the door since Abby was so, tired and grumpy last night. Her tummy was bugging her all day today and I think dinner didn’t set so well, and she was tired, she kept saying, “I just tired”. Well I finally got out the door after putting Abby to bed and scuttled past our energizer bunny of a child, Anna. I don’t remember giving her caffeinated beverages yesterday, or sugar, but she was wound up! Anyway, I drove to the meeting site, a running store, via the wrong running store on the other side of town, and arrived promptly a half an hour late. After signing in, I looked up and saw my friends and co-workers from Greeley, the Carlenos. How cool was that! Thanks guys! You all rock! There were also about 30 people besides them at the meeting, very cool indeed. <>
This meeting really made me value the human spirit; maybe some of these people came because they just wanted the motivation and support to reach their running goal, some for a trip to Alaska to run a race, some even for Abby, like my friends. I just think it is pretty cool that 30 people, in Fort Collins alone, would sit through an hour + long meeting, sign up, raise money for Leukemia, trains for months, and then run, bike or do a triathlon for a cure.

Well, on another note, Tiffany just called and said that she will need to take Abby back down to the doctor. The blood culture that they have been running since our Monday appointment came back positive for a blood infection. Abby isn’t extremely neutropenic, ANC at about 400 on Monday, but still is at high risk of her body not having enough to fight it off. They gave us the option to check her into the hospital since she will have to be on antibiotics for a while or set up a home care arrangement. Tiffany opted for the home care option so we’ll just hook the antibiotics up to her Broviac ever 6 hours it sounds like. Since Abby doesn’t have a fever, the infection is probably not to severe but it still needs to be taken care of course.

Man, I thought we were off of this roller coaster for a bit! Oh well… I’ll keep you posted but no new will probably mean good news.

Back from Denver, all is well

We're back from Denver now, and all is well. Her fever is gone, and she check out all good. Maybe she just has a little cold because of her counts being so low. While we were down there, since we had an appointment for Tuesday anyway, they went ahead and did the next chemo treatment. This will be the last one of her induction treatment. After next weeks bone marrow test, she will have a week off for her body to recover and get her counts back up before she starts her consolidation phase of the treatment, 2 months I think. She'll be off the Predinsone for a bit which will hopefully make her less moody and whiney. That will be a big releif to us, let me tell you.

Her counts are 1300 total White cells, 400 ANC, and the rest of it looks good too. She still is at risk of a fever/infection but not as low as she has been, that is a good sign that her bone marrow is starting work good again.

Well, I'm off to rest. Just wanted to let everyon know that things are A-OK.

Yup... Back Down to Denver

I'm leaving to Denver here in 1/2 hour to meet Tiffany there. Abby has a low grade fever, a couch, and threw up last night so they recomended that we bring her in. She's napping right now and Tiff's going to leave when she gets up. We will just be going to the office for now, they'll check her there give her the chemo that we were going to go down for tommorrow while we are there and if she isn't looking good, we'll check into the Hospital again. Hopefully not, but you never know.

The stress of this new lifestyle is really starting to wear on Tiffany and I. Lots of whining at home, crying, mostly from Abby, (but everyone has their share I'm sure) and stressful times of taking medicine or getting her Broviac site cleaned. Well, time for me to go.

Tell you all more later.

Out

A Way Cool Way YOU can Help!

A Way Cool Way YOU can Help!

Hey, everyone is always asking if they can help and other than cleaning our house weekly, watching our kids so we can go out for a date, or lavishing us with lots of love and prayers I haven't had may good ideas. But now that I'm a bit more past the shock of the diagnosis and have been poking around online, I've found a big winner of an idea in my book!

There is a great organization called "Team In Training" that does sponsored races to help children with Leukemia. Way cool idea really, and the best part is there is an info meeting tommorrow night in Fort Collins! I might even go if I can get away for an hour. I think it would be really cool if any runners, bikers or triathatetes out there would want to race and at the same time help out kids like Abby. You can even run with a picture of Abby or another child with Leukemia who you are helping on your bib! Way cool, like I said.

So check it out! Abby is running a big long race, with lots of hills, and climbs. Wouldn't it be cool to run with a purpose? When you feel like you can't go on any more, or you can't finish the race, you can get inpiration from what you are running, biking, or walking for! You'll be able to identify with these kids a bit more and help them at the same time! I'd encourage EVERYONE to take a look at this site even if you are not an athlete of any type, it is very motivational!

Maybe I'll see some of you at runners roost tommorrow, I mean Tuesday Night!


Home page of Team in Training

Fort collins meeting Jan 25th Tuesday!

Here is an awesome video!

Abby & the TV

Haven't posted many updates lately. Frankly it's because it's a bit depressing really, not really much to update on. Abby, after each treatment is kind of a wreck for a few days, doesn't want to do much and just sits on the couch and watches T.V. All day she watches that thing, eats bunny mac and cheese, popcorn, and sips out of her pink water bottle... she's just not herself. I think this is the hardest part for us right now, now that the shock of the diagnosis is gone, just seeing her sit on the couch staring at the TV. I'd take some pictures and post them, but they would mostly be the same, Abby on the couch. I know it's not a real uppity post but that's just how she's been, for the most part during this induction phase of the treatment. It honestly breaks my heart to see my little girl like this. I know this treatment is the best for her, but what kind of life is that, sitting in from of the TV.? Just making it really, trudging through these days, hour by hour and minute by minute.

Now don't get me wrong, she does smile sometimes, that beautiful Abby smile that lights up the room. And she has been playing with stickers a bit more now... So, I'm hopeful and very glad that this phase only has to last another couple weeks, the thought of another potential full month of induction treatment was making me crazy.

The other day, actually yesterday, Tiffany and her mom did take the girls down to the Bellevue/Watson Fish Hatchery and the Poudre River. I'm sure it was nice for them to get out and Tiffany said that Abby had fun feeding the fish. At one point though, Abby was walking, a novel experience for her lately, and she tripped and then couldn't get up. She just sat there and started to cry... Tiffany picked her up, gave a big hug and cried too. I think it was a "I just want my normal smiley little Abby back" kind of cry. Abby's cry too, was probably of a similar thread, just in a child's understanding, knowing that something is drastically different right now.

Maybe all of this is finally hitting because the whole leukemia thing has finally sunk in. "Hi, my names Mark and I'm a parent of a leukemia kid", (you say, "Hiiii Mark!"). No, but really, it has definitely sunk in, we still feel loved, still encouraged, still hopeful most of the time, and now it's time to keep on keeping on. We don't want to just "make it through" this phase either, we want to be alive in it, we want Abby to be alive in it, we want to live it as a family, no trudging through here! Pray that we do.

Well, Abby will be home soon from her check up in Denver, sounds like she is doing great. Dr. Smith, or Dr. Sniff as Abby pronounces it, said that she will just be a bit weak while her counts are so low, a bit nauseous & tired from the chemo, and moody from the Prednisone... Well that explains it! :) I'm just glad it's 70 out and I can sit on the porch and enjoy the sun, feel it's warmth, the breeze and in it all remember how small I really am.

Rapid responder!

Dr. Smith called today and told Tiffany that Abby's bone marrow tests were very good, under 5% cancer so she is classified as a rapid responder! I'm glad for her that she doesn't have to keep this agressive chemo up too much longer, it's got to be hard on her, she just hasn't been herself.

But, in 2 weeks, on her birthday, she will have her final treatment of this induction phase. At that time she will have anther lumbar puncture (spinal tap and chemo), a bone marrow test again, and another round of chemo. What we want to see from that test is no signs of leukemic cells, that would mean she is in remission and that would be a great 3rd birthday present indeed!

Until then, keep her in your prayers, especially while she is so nutropenic, under 500 ANC, and at such high risk of infection.

Thanks you to everyone that is reading this, thanks for being part of this wild, often stressful but always rewarding journey!

Couple quick updates

No word on the results of yesterdays bone marrow test, should know soon though.

Her blood counts are very low. Total White count = 2300 and her ANC (immune fighting part of the white count) is 100, very low. Normal is around 1500 in healthy kids, under 500 is dangerous because of the possibilities of infections. Since a lot of the drugs that she is taking, and the absence of white blood cells, a lot of the since of infection can be masked. So if she gets a fever of 101 right now we have to go back down to the hospital like we did the other night.

As you can see, things are a bit up in the air and tense right now. Please be praying. We are hoping that her bone marrow shows less than 5% cancer cells so that she will be classified as a "rapid responder". If they don't then the treatment will have to be a bit more aggressive.

Abby is not herself today at all, probably from a lot of factors, one being the bruise left on her back from the procedure yesterday, and probably the fever. Also the first couple days after the chemotherapy can be worse in terms of side effects so that may be it too.

We'll let you know as we things progress, if her fever is still at 99.5 or higher at 1pm we will probably go back down to Denver.

Man, what a wild, uncontrollable ride huh! Like a big crazy roller coaster. I often wish it were different at moments like these, but what do I know really? I don't control the world, or even my little part of it, that's a good thing. So, off to hang on and enjoy the crazy ride, I just hope their isn't a double loop up ahead.

Valley song reflections

Jars of Clay “Valley Song” just started playing on my computer as I was surfing the Net, trying to get some work done for my new Engineering class that I’m teaching this semester. Powerful song, makes me cry each time that I hear it; even more now, I’ve always loved it. Just the other day, on the snowing drive to work, I was thinking I should download it from I-Tunes so that I could listen to it more. Then, in the mail that night, a package from Chaya and Brian came. I hit the button to play it, bumped the skip buttons some how and guess what the first song to play was? Yup, the Valley song. I just started to cry there in the living room, in front of the stereo. The only one around at the time was Anna, Abby was sleeping. Anna just looked at me with a sort of look of confusion or something, her lip starting to quiver in empathy or fear. She is a very sensitive child. I told her that it was ok, and that Daddy was just sad. Then she did the unexpected… She fell onto my shoulder wrapping her little arms around my back and gave me a hug. She hugged me longer than I can ever remember her embracing me before, and right there, in the middle of the living room, with my 18 month old girl hugging me, I cried a bit more. It was a cry of confusion, a cry of hardship in this journey, a “I wish I could take it all away” cry. It was a cry of me wanting her so much to just be ok in the midst of thinking about possibilities that I just can’t think about right now. Most of all though, it was a cry of hope, of me letting everything that was burdening me go and letting God take the load.

That’s a spiritual moment right there, I time that I won’t soon forget; being comforted by your little girl, by God, by song, and at the same time knowing that it’s going to be ok and passing the knowledge on to Anna with a hug.

One of the lyrics of the Valley Song that give me great hope and comfort, and hopefully will you too, is the following:

You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you

Chorus
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut

And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down

Thanks again to everyone for all of your reflections, comments, support and prayers!

A Personal Encounter

As I read the comments to Abby's blog, to Mark's and my and my dad's posts, and as I see people or talk to them on the phone, I keep hearing "you are doing so great with all of this", "you have such faith", "you have such courage". Don't get me wrong, I appreciate and am truly encouraged by these words. But this morning as I sit and read the Psalms I am struck by my own humanity, my own flaws and my own inability to handle any of this. It is so big. How do you deal with the truth that an all powerful God would allow a child to suffer? And possibly to die? How do you put to rest in your heart the thought that if God is so loving, why would he take a child from her parents? Or at least allow her to suffer? These are are the things that my heart wrestles with. And I know that I can take these hard questions to my Savior, to the One who may not be able to give me answers I want because I can't understand the workings of the universe and why things are the way they are, but I will take them to Him and He will help me get through them and find peace. And He has. I have heard Him telling my heart that this is not what He would have for Abby, or for all of us who grieve. In the beginning there was a plan for glory and for paradise and we chose to doubt God's goodness and because God didn't want to force us to chose Him, He allowed sin to rock our world. It is because of sin that Abby's body is wracked with cancer cells. It is not because God can't or won't fix it. Now He does have the power to heal her right now, I do believe that. That is the hard thing. Why won't He? Well, He has whispered to my heart through this all the reasons He has allowed this. There is a bigger story than Abby's health and our love for her. It is so key for me to lock into this or I will get bitter and angry at God. And I'm not just spitting out sunday school answers here. God has told me that He will use this whole process of Abby's cancer to bring so many people closer to Him. The desire of His heart is that everyone will know Him and chose Him and therefore be able to be with Him forever. Abby's cancer will shine a light into a dark world in a way that her not having cancer wouldn't. I believe that to the depths of my soul. I have seen it already in more ways that I can even list here. It is amazing how the lover of our souls really does turn all things to good. And as for my "courage" in all this, the only reason I am standing and moving through each day with peace in my heart is because I have had the honor of a personal encounter with my Savior. He has rushed in and comforted when I didn't even have words to say to Him. He is amazing. He is so faithful. He loves Abby more than I do. She is His daughter first. He will take care of her. I pray constantly that He will heal her so she can be with us for many years. But I also know that, like Abraham when he walked to that altar with his precious, only son, that You can be trusted. In my heart I know that I will be okay because You are with me. The verse I am hanging onto in this is Psalm 28:6- "The Lord is my strength and my shield. My heart trusts in Him and I am helped." Thank you all for reading this. It is good to share my heart with you all. It is therapy. I know you are all praying for Abby and that is so comforting. You all give me strength to run into God's arms.

Back home and all is well

Just a quick note to say that Abby is fine. She stopped throwing up within an hour of being on IV fluids and then slept most of the rest of the night, from 2:30am on. Tiffany and I also got a bit of shut eye but we are still pretty tired. They released Abby from the hospital at about 11am, she napped in the car, napped at home and went to bed early. I think we'll be doing the same.

This running to the hospital thing is probably just going to be a potential 'normal' part of our life. If she gets a fever of 101.5 and has a ANC of under 500 (the infection fighting part of the white count) then we belt her in the van and make haste down to Pres./St. Lukes. Even though she didn't spike a fever last night, they sent us down because the throwing up could have been a pre-cursor to a fever from an infection.

Crazy new life style huh? I hope this isn't going to be too common. With some kids it is and others it's not. We're praying that she is one of the 'not'. :)

To bed we go.

Meanwhile, Back at the Hospital :(

Yup, back here at good ole Pres./St. Lukes. What time is it anyway? Yikes! I'll make it short...

I had this whole post ready to post up in the morning. It was going to tell you all about Abby's follow up appointment at CHOA, how many peanut butter crackers she ate, and stuff like that. I also had mentioned that Abby's blood count was continuing to drop, 2600 for her total white count, and that her ANC (which is the immunity, infection fighting part of the blood) was down to 200 (extremely low). Any thing under 500 and we can't take her out in crowded places becuase of her immunity and suseptability to things. I also had mentioned the fact that Anna was still not eating very well from her stomach bug, and that Tiff's mom had caught the bug from probably Anna and had couldn't vistit again until 3 days after her last symptoms because of Abby's low ANC count.

Well, instead of all that I get to tell you that at about 10pm Abby started to throw up. At 10:30 again, and we called the doc. They told us this was not a good thing for her to be doing with her counts low especially if she gets lower GI stuff going on. At 11ish after throwing up a couple more times, and starting to have to poop more, we called the doc again and she told us to drive on down to Denver. 11:30ish, we allowed Vicky back in the house from her quarentine, to watch Anna and sleep at our place and we loaded all of our pre packed bags plus our puking daughter into the van and hauled down to Denver.

They took blood, urine, plugged into her Broviac (Central Veinious Cathoder) port and are now pumping some fluid back into her to keep her hydrated. They will also put her on antibiotics encase this is part of an infection that we don't know about. I think she has stopped throwing up for now. Anyway, I'm off to bed.

If anyone at Frontier reads this before 7:45am could you cover my class... I'm in Denver.

Everything looks like it will be fine here. But better safe than a big blood infection.

Tonight, we need prayer!

This is Robin with a quick update and request for prayer. I just got off the phone @ 11pm California time...that would be Midnight on Thursday night Colorado time...Mark and Tiffany are taking Abby to the hospital. She has had an attack of nausea...we don't know what could be the problem, but these are the issues that are worrisome because of the susceptability to infection since Abby's blood count is lowered due to the chemotherapy. Please join us in prayer that this is nothing serious and that Abby will be OK. Mark and Tiff and my wife, Nana Vicky need prayer for calm and confident hearts.

Ever feel like you’re in a movie?

Things have been pretty surreal lately, really vivid you know, sharp colors and really feeling the cold and sun on my skin. Do you ever feel that way, like everything is just so vivid? I took a walk the other day, up in the foothills near our house. It was pretty muddy from the melting snow but the sun was still out and I just felt like I had to get out in nature. As I was walking, I felt like I everything was jumping out at me, I was very aware of my glasses frames, and the sound that my feet were making on the muddy gravel path. It was the coolest thing, and I’ve had lots of these types of experiences lately. I feel very alive. I think a part of it is because I can’t really live “in the middle” any more. I’m dealing with powerful stuff here, powerful emotions, powerful love of the people around me, powerful sadness, and yet an extreme sense of peace. I can’t just “get through” the days any more, or pretend that life is “ok” and that is a great thing for me. Maybe you don’t feel the same way, I don’t know, but for me I am soooooo glad that God has given my family such a wake up call to see what this life really has to offer, the hurts, the beauty, all of it. Nature, the way the snow clings to the branches, how drenched we feel in love from all of you out there, even Abby’s hard days… all of it, such an awesome example of God in our midst!

As you can see, I love being outside, so does Abby. All summer we would go over to the park, or find a short trail near our house to take a walk on. Her favorite thing to do at the park is to climb things that kids her age should not be climbing on. If she is in a really good mood, when she gets to the top, she’ll catch my eye with hers and then jump to me, hopefully I have a free hand, or better two; pretty fearless little girl really. She also does this at home, usually from the landing of our stairs she’ll just jump to me, a good 7 stair leap, with reckless abandonment. What faith!

I love that my daughter can teach me about faith from her playing and I think I might just be ‘getting it’ now. There is a lot of trust in that little girl and a lot of faith. Maybe it takes something like this to happen to us to get rid of those calluses that have formed from our reaction to the hurt in life. Maybe I've felt like I've jumped at times, and not been caught in the way that I wanted to. Maybe things like this happen so that we won’t continue to live in the middle, always keeping things in order, in control, so that we can save ourselves a little pain. Maybe I need to take a page out of my little girl’s book, learn to just catch God’s eye and leap.

Today Abby jumped to me on the stairs, only one stair but I bet it seemed like 10 to her… It makes me smile to see her playing like this again, to see her not becoming callus from this new lifestyle that she has been thrown into. I can’t wait to continue to see her get her climbing spirit back and also see her throw her self back into things with the same type of faith and trust as I’ve seen from her in the past. Maybe not the full 7 stairs, I don’t know if I trust myself for her sake, but definitely that same spirit.

Off to live a day in reckless abandonment and faith.

A Word from Tiffany

Well, here's my first blog entry. I didn't even know what a blog was before Christmas and now I know what they are, why they are called "blogs", and my daughter has cancer. A lot can happen over Christmas break. I am totally blown away be everyone's love and support. You are all a part of our healing journey and I thank God for you. I was sitting in my living room today looking out the window at the snow and thinking about this blog and how encouraging it is for me. I can read encouraging words, funny words, words to keep me going at any time (if my computer is actually working that is!) from all of you and feel God's hand comforting me through you all. So many people are asking me how I am doing. I am somewhere between sadness and hope. I so often look at Abby and feel my throat closing up with the thought of losing her, or just having to watch her go through so much. Then so often I also look at her, or outside at the sky, or I read encouraging words on a card from a friend, or a bible verse gets me, and I feel really alive and like I've caught a glimpse of God's big story and the part I play in it, the part Abby plays in it. So we are doing this cancer thing, one day at a time. You all can pray for me as Abby's mom. I need God's strength to not fall apart when she is suffering. I need perspective to see things as God sees them. I need patience with Abby when she is grumpy. Thanks for you prayers, they are truly felt and appreciated more than any of you will ever know. Here's to Abby's healing!

Quick update: Bone Marrow results

Dr. Smith called Tiffany this afternoon and was very optimistic as to how Abby is proceeding and responding to treatment. She has about 10% cancer cells still in her bone marrow but that is still really good. She was at about 90%-100% a week ago, so that is a huge drop. This does mean that next Tuesday they will do another bone marrow test, and spinal tap. By then it should be under 5% and she would still be catagorized as a 'rapid responder'. Pray for that.

We also found out yesterday that she is nutrophenic (I think that is how you spell it). Basically that means that she is at a higher risk for infections because the infection fighting types of white blood cells is below 500, she's at 400 currently.

Abby will go back to Denver for a check up on Thursday and then again for the Chemo treatment and bone marrow procedure on Tuesday after Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday.

There you are... short and sweet.

Abby's Second Treatment

So here I sit on this foggy morning, day 9 of my daughter’s Leukemia treatment. To be honest, yesterday was really good overall, but highly stressful for the first 2 before they sedated her. Other than not really understanding why we were back at the hospital and the anxiety that probably goes with that, I think the bigger problem was that she hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before. With the Prednisone that she is on, she eats continually, as you may have read about. She was so hungry, tired from not sleeping very well the night before, and probably anxious about why we were back at Pres. St. Luke’s. Basically she was an out of control grumpy, whiney, tired and hungry child. Not the Abby that we all know and love. I don’t even know if I can explain the emotions that go along with being at your child’s bedside in a hospital and not being able to comfort, help or explain to her what is going on. Tormentingly stressful might fit, maybe too harsh though. Finally they gave her some Benedril to help her settle down and sleep. That was a very peaceful sleep for us all and finally our teeth became less clenched as we relaxed at the sight of our little precious daughter sleeping.

The Anesthesiologist finally came in and gave her a drug to relax her before the took her off to the O.R.. This Dr. was pretty funny, and would say things like, “this one is a good one, it will make her feel pretty goofy pretty quick.” Or, “This will be great one for her, right into la la land.” These type of comments always make me wonder if they get to try them all out like waiters do on a wine tasting night or maybe in med school when it says lecture and a “lab” they get really excited. I don’t know, just strikes me as funny and odd. I am glad for these Dr.s thought because bone marrow aspirates aren’t the best feeling procedures from what I’ve heard. I’m not sure how many more times they’ll take a bone marrow sample but I know it is at least 2 or 3 more times, probably more since that is the only way to conclusively see how she is responding to Chemo.

The rest of the day was good, she slept a long time in the recovery room, and that was a blessing. We finally woke her up for her appointment at CHOA at 1pm. We wrapped her in a warm blanket and took her across the street, up to the 5th floor and after a quick sit in the waiting room, they gave her a room with a view. A cool little room actually with a twin bed and TV with a VCR/DVD player for movies. Over the next few hours, till 4:30pm, she ate 3 packages of peanut butter crackers, a bowl of noodles, a bag of microwavable popcorn, and a glass of milk while we waited for the chemo drug to drip into her IV. We talked to Dr. Smith who, thought things are going pretty good, while Abby watch Stewart Little and Tele Tubbies. Tele Tubbies is about the weirdest show that I’ve ever had to sit through, but hey my daughter has cancer, so I’ll watch it with her.

As for all the tests on the bone marrow, we’ll know more today. Basically if she has responded well, then she’ll continue the chemo treatments till day 28 when they’ll do another bone marrow sample. If she hasn’t responded that quickly as of yesterday, then they’ll probably do another sample next Tuesday, like they did yesterday, to see how she is responding. Pray that she is a rapid responder, and has less than 5% cancer cells in her bone marrow on today’s test and definitely on next weeks test if that is needed.

Thanks again for all of your support and prayers.

A great day

Philipians 1:6 Being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

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Short post today. It seems like it should be because it is Sunday. Anyway, Abby did really good yesterday, thank you for your prayers. We played in the snow where she made a snow angel on the picnic table and wiped all the snow off of the benches. We also had a tea party while Tiffany, Vicky, and Anna went out to do some shopping. It was nice for me to have a little 'date day' with my girl.

She still is way into 'Bunny Mac & Cheese', ya these little pastas do look like bunnies, I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a curse. To open the box, you push the tail in and then rip open the box... kinda cute, yet kinda violent for a kids food product. I get tense trying to open it with out ripping Mr. bunny's little fluffy tail off. Still she likes it so I like it and she loves to help make it so I'll continue to support the bunny mac and cheese company. If we run out it may be a crisis situation though. I think in a pinch I could boil up some spegetti and tie it into bunny shapes... It might fool her, you never know.

Tommorrow is the Day 8 appointment where they put her under general anestisia, do the bone marrow samples, spinal tap sample and chemo treatment, and then wake her up for more. After she is done at the hospital, out patient, we will take her over to the clinic for fun filled afternoon of chemo treatment. This part takes at least 2 hours for the drugs to be given. I bet she will like this part because she will get to go in the kitchen.

Hopeful for a Sabbath

Once again I’m out of my morning daze enough to realize that I do have a child with Leukemia. Maybe I’m just a bit dense in that way, but it’s taking a while to sink in. Actually, I think I was on to that fact a bit sooner this morning than normal. On about the 4^th call from Abby, every 2 hours last night, to go “potty” I was pretty keyed in to the fact that something was different with this picture than say, 2 weeks ago when we all were sleeping through the night. Maybe that is one of the side effects of the drugs… frequent urination, I’ll have to look through that thick gray binder that they gave us. The only problem with doing that is then I have to read through all of the side effects, not my idea of “light” reading.

Hopefully she’ll be less grumpy than she has been. You know, when she was a baby she cried every night from 5-7pm, “happy hour” we named the time. After a couple months of that we started to call her ‘Crabigail’, but we soon pulled the name because we didn’t want it to stick. I’m praying that today she will be feeling more like her self. I want to see her get outside and play today, walk around our house instead of always wanting to be carried, and smile that big bright smile that lights up a room. I want to have a normal family Sabbath type day today and rest in God’s peace and provision. That is something we have been doing lately, in the last year, having a Sabbath. Just a day of rest, a day to not do any normal work, a family day, and a day to rest in God’s arms. Pray that we can have that type of day today, we could really use a Sabbath rest.

Abby did pretty well yesterday from what I heard, I had my first day back to work so it is all second hand info, but good info none the less. I think what has been making her so whiney is the fact that she hadn’t pooped since we left the hospital. I know, I’m talking about poop, but for her this could be a medical emergency. No really, let me explain… Abby is now getting to a place where her white blood cell count is getting low, white blood cells are a big part of the bodies immunity. If she gets a cut it has a higher chance to get infected when her counts are low, so if she is constipated, well lets just say she could get a cut in a place that has a high likelihood of getting infected. That would not be good. The doctor gave us paper orders to take with us if she ever gets an infection or just spikes a fever of 101.5 or above. If that happens we put everyone in the car and drive down to the hospital to check her in to Pres. St. Lukes.

Well so much more that I could say, but I’ll save it for another day. I've also got to go help give her the morning meds, and put the pulse/oxygen monitor on her toe. Thanks again for you prayers and support of Abby and our family. Have a good Sabbath!

Out.

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