Wednesday, July 06, 2005
7:45am Request for "Real Pancakes".... "with syrup"
8:05am Pancakes served... with syrup and butter
8:10am Bananas ordered and served
8:15am More bananas... "in the peel please" (at least she still is polite in her demands:))
8:20am Done with pancakes, asks for noodles... Penne pasta to be specific.
8:22am Finished convincing her that Spaghetti Noodles were already cooked and would be better.
8:25am-8:35ish Abby eats 3 bowls of spaghetti "with sauce... without tomatoes please"
At this point I ran and errand but when I returned at around 9am, I found her seated at the table again eating....
9am.... Ice cream, Haagen-dazs of course! Mummmmmm. Breakfast of champions really!
I've been out since then but I'm sure she's found some more stuff to eat. That is actually a good thing really, she needs to gain some weight. She's been about 28-30 lbs since she was diagnosed and we don't want her to lose any more during this phase if possible, so on I'll go being a short order cook and letting my child have her 9am ice cream rendezvous....
The only problem that I see is that I end up eating everything that she "orders" and then doesn't want... Man this is going to be worse than the "Freshman 15" for me! I guess I just have to start throwing food away... so hard for me to do... Oh well better than buying all new clothes. :)
Out for now.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
I have seen the sun break through
to illuminate a small field
for a while, and gone my way
and forgotten it. But that was the pearl of great price, the one field that had the treasure in it. I realize now
that I must give all that I have
to possess it. Life is not hurrying
on to a receding future, nor hankering after
an imagined past. It is the turning aside like Moses to the miracle
of the lit bush, to a brightness
that seemed as transitory as your youth
once, but is the eternity that awaits you.
I found this poem today while I was reading some blogs. I really like it. I like that it give such a good image of living in the present. I like that it reminds of our heritage, of God's promises to our forefathers, and to us.
I so often hurry on to get through things, to the future... The future must be better right? If I'm not longing for the future, then I'm just as often "hanker after an imagined past." Oh how we twist the facts in our minds of the future and the past always thinking the grass is greener somewhere else. That God was so much bigger in our lives then or will be bigger in our lives in the future... But what about now? What burning bushes are just outside of our view if we would stand still enough to look around and find them?
So yes life is still demanding with my moody little girl, often so much that we barely get to sit down... exhausting. I live my days lately longing for the future and the past... anything but the present. Nap time, bedtime, morning coffee... these are music to my ears. But almost a week into, I find again that these times do not satisfy. The coffee doesn't quench my thirst, the afternoon nap does not fill me up, the "I'm so exhausted from the day so lets watch Seinfeld reruns" don't rejuvenate me as in the moment I think they will.
You know what does? .... Sitting in the hammock rocking my little girl, drying her tears, and comforting her. Redirecting her little misguided request for 3 different types of cheese laden pasta within 3 minutes with love and a solid boundary that I really do know what's best for her. Praying in the midst of chaos for God not to rescue me from my circumstances but to comfort me and rock me through them; to give me boundaries in love that really help me to know that He knows best for me. Just talking to friends, looking them in the eye, and with that contact knowing that my family is loved. And in the same way, turning to look past my often misguided focus, to see the burning bushes in my life; realizing that I am on holy ground, right now, in the present, and that more than anyone else, God is drenching our family in love.... If I would only look over to see it more.