Well, that Dave Crowder song came on as I was standing in my living room, looking at Anna eating her peanut butter toast with Abby's fleece jesters hat on and her pjs, whiggling around in her chair like she does. I had just done the second meet at the door and switch off with Mark for the day as he now took Abby to PVH to have blood taken to see if we need to go to Denver tomorrow for chemo since her blood isn't tip top yet. I thought, ya know, I'm so glad God takes us as we are. The song says, "Lord I'm tired, so tired of working, and Lord I'm so alone. Lord the darkness is creeping in, creeping up to swallow me. I think I'll stop here and rest awhile. This is all that I can say right now, and this is all that I can give." And with God, that's enough. In fact, I'm learning that for God, that's what He most wants. Our realness, for us to just give him what's really there, even if it's not very spiritual. I'm so thankful for that. I am hanging in there. That seems to be what I say to everyone when they ask me how I'm doing. I am hanging by a thread sometimes, but God has me in His hand. Thank you all for your continued love, it is a great comfort to my hurting heart. It is great to see my little girls smile and laugh again. She is teaching me so much.
5 comments:
Love you Tiff!
Megan
That is such an excellent song...
I'm glad you're hangin' in there, and I'm glad Abby is smiling & laughing again!
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Still praying for your daughter Abby! I mailed a request for prayers for her to every one on my email list the other day .... people have responded back saying that they are!!! Prayers are said all around the U.S. ..... vigilance from so many people. "A Vision of Healing" ... I see it, too!!! Regardless of what the physical eye can see, I believe in the miracles of the unseen! ... from the One Who died to save us!
sharon again, from Alabama
Tiffany my continued love and prayers are not only poured out for Abby (Mark and Anna too), but for peace, comfortfor your hurting heart and most of all rest for you.
XOXO
Kimberly
There is a canadian artist, Bruce Cockburn, with a gift for lyrics.
He wrote a song some years ago called 'Lovers in a Dangerous Time' FWIW the chorus goes: "We are lovers in a dangerous time. We are lovers in a dangerous time. Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Sometimes you have to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight...."
Keep kicking Schreiber, scrape, pray, kick, laugh, punch, sing, cut, smile, poke and grin. Nobody loses in this battle, no matter what the outcome. I think you can understand the truth in this. Truly the One who knows every hair on Abby's head is already victorious. Now, only the details (yeah, those messy daily, tubes in the chest details) have to play themselves out. Keep kicking Schreiber, keep kicking.
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