Monday, March 26, 2007

Phobic

Sometimes I'm in the mood to write and sometimes I'm just not in there. This is one of the latter moments in my blogging life. But, I thought if I just started I'd probably get into it. So here I go, maybe I'm just tired...

You know Abby is coming up to the end of her treatments soon and I know I should be joyful and happy that Abby's almost done, but nay. You see during this last 2 plus years I've become kind of phobic. And in a weird sort of way, I don't know if I'll know how to act any differently when all is done.

Let me explain with a little story about church. Just last Sunday we all decided to go to church. The plan was to sequester ourselves off on the side, our usual spot, and worship together. Then Tiffany was going to go off and help in the Preschool classroom and I was going to take the girls to our less germy and therefore safe house. So we get there early, pick a nice remote spot with a great angle of the profile of the pastors nose way off to the side. No one around, perfect. As church begins people start to file in late. Now maybe they thought we were lonely over there all by ourselves so a family came and plunked down right behind us. Then another small family in front, to the side, 2 rows in front, on and on. So there I am with my daughter, who has no mask on by the way, and these germy people all around me. You know, they don't pass a plate for money around in our church but I had visions of filling it with sanitizer and just passing it around our neighbors in the pew. So, I'm trying to sing and I keep hearing coughing, and then sniffs. Kids around us are picking their noses, people are coughing and it pretty soon that's about all I can hear. (ok so I'm exaggerating but you get the point.) This is my life. I now open the bathroom doors with a paper towel on the way out. I flush with my foot or elbow and I find myself smelling Purell like it's a fine perfume.

So now you see why I'm a bit anxious when this is all over. Right now most of you would say that it is completely fine for me to be a bit germophobic. But what about in a month? Or a year? I may be doomed to be "one of those people". What happened to me? I used to just boil the spaghetti sauce if it was older than I thought reasonable... now I throw it away. Oh no what have I become!?

Obviously my germphobia is irrational. Obviously my hand washing isn't working. Nor is the humongo air filter! Oh well I'll tell you how it all goes in a year.

Now onto the Abby front. Abby's last treatment, yes... LAST TREATMENT. Hey that's fun to say, "Last Treatment". [PERSON A]: "Where are you guys going on Friday Mark?" [ME]: "Oh we're off to Denver for Abby's last treatment." [PERSON A]: "Wow, it's her last treatment?!" [ME]: "Yup! it's her last treatment. Pretty cool huh?!"

So ya, Friday, Abby's last treatment. Last one. Finae, done, audios, buh-bye, Final. (i.e. Last). Tiffany is going to take her down and I'm going to hang out with Lily and Anna at home. We thought about taking her today or tomorrow but I was going to have to take more work off and so Friday worked better. Abby will get Vincristine, and IvIG and then some oral meds (plus the grumpy pill) at home. Wow! Only 10 more Decadron pills to go! Yippee. Then we'll continue the nightly meds until April 19th.

Wow, I think this whole soon to be done thing is going to take a while to sink in. It's coming up fast!

While I wait I just keep washing my hands to pass the time.

...Oh hey! I almost forgot to tell you... Abby's got Pink Eye again. I think I do too, and Tiff. Ah the fun of it all.

1 comment:

Carrie Reeder said...

WOOHOO, Abby. That is so incredible that you have your last appointment tomorrow!!!! I am so excited for you and your family. I can't wait until my Abby has her last appointment! You are such a big girl and such an inspiration.

Love to all of you.
Carrie (the other Abby's mommy)