Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Spent.

After 3 months of chemo coupled with colds, infections, surgeries, procedures, trips to Denver and a multitudes of medications I am now spent! Abby was up 4-5 times last night, Lily was also crying about as many times (she's teething). Abby's cough is worse again and she isn't sleeping or eating very well.

Usually I can brush it off, get through it and find the positive side of the issue in the moment but not this time. I think Abby sums it up best when she said to me last night, "I don't think this cough will never go away!" or "I didn't sleep at all last night!" in her little sad and frustrated tone. Really breaks my heart.

Anyway, that's how it is. Tiffany took the family down to Denver again today to get Abby checked out. Her ANC was at 0 and her total white count was only at 300. They checked her out, talked it over and since she sounded ok in the lungs they let her come home.

I came home early and walked into the house to the sound of Abby screaming and crying. I held her and tried to figure out what was wrong through her crys. It is really hard to not be able to do anything about all of this, really hard. She had a fever again so Tiffany called CHOA and they decided that we should get Abby admitted to the hospital again. Tiffany took her this time and when she got down to the hospital Abby's fever was up to 103. The staff did all the usually neutropenic fever stuff, cultured the blood, gave her a stiff shot some mega antibiotic and got her started on fluids.

It's 9PM now and things sound like they have started to settle down. Abby's cough is still keeping her away and hurts her to cough. Her fever has come down a good amount and now hopefully she can sleep. They did a chest X-Ray and we should no the results of that tomorrow.

Tiffany said that they are in the same room that Abby was in when she first got diagnosed... kind of weird. Tiffany commented on how things seemed to have come full circle. Indeed they have. My hope is that they can figure this thing out and kick this bug that she has. My hope is that Abby will feel better.

My last hope is that this truly has come full circle and that the bed that Abby now sleeps in tonight, the same bed that she was diagnosed in over 2 years ago, will the last hospital bed that she will have to sleep in for a very long time.

Ahhh, I can't wait until she feels better. Thanks again for checking in.

2 comments:

Jan Tanksley said...

I just want to tell you that my love, heart, thoughts and prayers are with all of you. You don't know me but I've known Pam for many years. Keep the faith. There are many many prayers going out to you. Jan Tanksley

Anonymous said...

Hi Mark and Tiffany

Pam has been keeping us updated on Abby's challenges and progress. I know all of you are exhasted and MORE than ready to be finished with this battle. Hang in there . . my thoughts and prayers are with ALL of you. Little Abby is blessed to have such an amazing family. If I could "wave the magic wand" I would, but until I figure out how to do that, please know that you have family and friends that are thinking of you. Much love. (Cousin) Anne Wade