Haven't posted many updates lately. Frankly it's because it's a bit depressing really, not really much to update on. Abby, after each treatment is kind of a wreck for a few days, doesn't want to do much and just sits on the couch and watches T.V. All day she watches that thing, eats bunny mac and cheese, popcorn, and sips out of her pink water bottle... she's just not herself. I think this is the hardest part for us right now, now that the shock of the diagnosis is gone, just seeing her sit on the couch staring at the TV. I'd take some pictures and post them, but they would mostly be the same, Abby on the couch. I know it's not a real uppity post but that's just how she's been, for the most part during this induction phase of the treatment. It honestly breaks my heart to see my little girl like this. I know this treatment is the best for her, but what kind of life is that, sitting in from of the TV.? Just making it really, trudging through these days, hour by hour and minute by minute.
Now don't get me wrong, she does smile sometimes, that beautiful Abby smile that lights up the room. And she has been playing with stickers a bit more now... So, I'm hopeful and very glad that this phase only has to last another couple weeks, the thought of another potential full month of induction treatment was making me crazy.
The other day, actually yesterday, Tiffany and her mom did take the girls down to the Bellevue/Watson Fish Hatchery and the Poudre River. I'm sure it was nice for them to get out and Tiffany said that Abby had fun feeding the fish. At one point though, Abby was walking, a novel experience for her lately, and she tripped and then couldn't get up. She just sat there and started to cry... Tiffany picked her up, gave a big hug and cried too. I think it was a "I just want my normal smiley little Abby back" kind of cry. Abby's cry too, was probably of a similar thread, just in a child's understanding, knowing that something is drastically different right now.
Maybe all of this is finally hitting because the whole leukemia thing has finally sunk in. "Hi, my names Mark and I'm a parent of a leukemia kid", (you say, "Hiiii Mark!"). No, but really, it has definitely sunk in, we still feel loved, still encouraged, still hopeful most of the time, and now it's time to keep on keeping on. We don't want to just "make it through" this phase either, we want to be alive in it, we want Abby to be alive in it, we want to live it as a family, no trudging through here! Pray that we do.
Well, Abby will be home soon from her check up in Denver, sounds like she is doing great. Dr. Smith, or Dr. Sniff as Abby pronounces it, said that she will just be a bit weak while her counts are so low, a bit nauseous & tired from the chemo, and moody from the Prednisone... Well that explains it! :) I'm just glad it's 70 out and I can sit on the porch and enjoy the sun, feel it's warmth, the breeze and in it all remember how small I really am.